A Mother's Love

I had a migraine attack yesterday at about 6.30pm. I can’t remember the last time I had one. I used to have frequent attacks back in the school days. Anyway, it was so bad that I seriously felt like my brains could explode. I was shivering. My hair was wet with cold sweat. When I tried to stand up memang macam nak pitam. I didn’t want to break my fast as it was already almost time for berbuka. Amir as usual needs special attention during buka. Because my head was spinning I could not understand what he was saying. He was crying like mad wanting me to get the baby chair for him but I thought he wanted to go out and play. When I finally got him the chair he was looking at me all weird because I was in pain. I served him rice took a few sips of water and then literally passed out on the sofa.

My mother despite being tired handling 7 kids at home babysat me throughout the ordeal. While holding baby Sarah she made Milo, prepared food and went scouring for medicines for me. I felt so bad. I am now married with 2 kids but yet I have to still rely so much on my parents to take care of me. But there was nothing much I can do. I had no energy to even move. I guess that’s the thing about a mother’s love. It is something that no one can explain. It comes naturally with deep devotion and of sacrifice and pain. It is endless and unselfish and enduring come what may. They see their sick child (okay I’m 30 but still a child at heart) and they would immediately attend to them. No such thing as I’ll try my best or can you wait I’m in the middle of something. I was still not so well until the wee hours. Sarah woke up at 2am and Amir 10 minutes after. And again my mom came to the rescue. I was finally able to eat my dinner while she took care of the kids.

I could have felt sad and angry because I had actually hoped for someone else to be taking care of me. At 2am, if I had a C4 or a grenade which I can throw from Kajang to SA I probably would have done so. But yesterday, a mother’s touch made me forget about all the negativity and brought out so much love in me. Even at 3am with a heavy head I was actually kinda enjoying the moment with the 2 kiddies especially baby sarah yang tiba2 tak bad mood bila meniarap and nak babytalk pulak tu. I thought of taking a day off today and be with the kids but I know Mdm Cencwill be on to me like a hawk if I do so and I would not be at peace jugak kat rumah nanti.

I never told my mom how much I appreciate what she has done for me. Can’t remember the last time I hugged her and say I love her---I think it was back when I was in Form 3 when she was going for Haj. I would treat her for hi-tea coz I know she loves cakes, used to buy her nice hand bags because she collects them and buy her puffs after work since she does not really eat rice for dinner. This is my indirect way of telling her that I love her. But why is it so hard for us kids to show our love to our own mother. Jadi segan pulak to show it openly. Bila dah besar sibuk nak tunjuk kat husbands and boyfriends because we crave for their attention. But we get our mother’s love for free without having to ask for it and work hard to get it.

I hope in time I would be more open to show how much I love mama. And if I am not able to, I hope God will help me in showing my mother signs that I indeed have so much love for her and I don’t think I could ever live without her. And God, please give guidance to my kiddies to suffocate me with their love until forever! :)