He has cancer.

About 2 weeks ago my brother had to go for a surgery. A minor one, we thought. He has a small lump in his throat. When we went to the hospital to visit him, he told us that it could possibly be cancer. At that point of time, the test results were not final as yet. We were hopeful, nonetheless that it would not be cancer and since he seemed to be doing okay after the surgery we were looking forward to a speedy recovery.

A day after his birthday my brother had to go to the hospital to get the test results. I was at work and when I got back home, my mom was already in tears. She told me that my brother had called her 4 times that day wanting to speak to his son. In his first phone call after asking for his son, he said that he had gotten the test results and the cancer is in his perut! So my mom, was of course shocked and devastated as she was not expecting it to be as serious as that...as in spreading from the throat to perut??! In his 2nd,3rd and 4th call, he again asked for his son. But in the 4th phone call, he was like a bit blur when my mom said he had called 4 times. He thought the 4th phone call was his first. Laaagilaa my mom became all worried about what the drugs had done to him.

We waited for my sister in law to come back home and tell us the actual situation. That evening, we all -- my mom, dad,sis in law and me - sat at the family area.. all teary eyed. I think that was my first time seeing my dad cry. I felt like I was carrying a gigantic stone in my heart. My sis in law said that from the test results, my brother has been diagnosed with a throat cancer (not perut!!!!haiyo..my mom...) stage 1. He started chemo on that day -- which had explained why he was kinda weak and a bit blurry --- and the dr had to still do some tests i.e ambik something/air/tisu from the tulang belakang --- not so sure. The dr said that if we ever get cancer, the best place to have it is at the throat because it would be easier to treat...I guess that made us all feel a bit better..

To those close to me, you all would probably know that my brother is not the chatty type..even with his family i.e my parents and siblings. I still remember when I was TKC, I used to envy the relationship that Hanim has with her brother because they were very close like best friends who could tell each other anything..chat on the phone etc. Yes, we talked but I mean, I won't be calling home just to chat with him la... and I doubt that he ever missed me when I'm not around... :p But ada jugakla time yang dia buat gempak... hehe.. I felt really proud masa hari penyampaian hadiah in 1994, he came with my parents to see me go up on stage! That day I cried extra long at my cupboard --- homesick as usual + happy that he came ---! Yes, I love and adore my brother! --- i dare to put this because I know he's not reading my blog and not gonna know --- ;)

Back when he was in secondary school and uni, my brother was like really naughty..had made my mom cried many times..tapi he is still like the gem in the family i.e anak laki sorang. So he escaped all the housework. Yang kena torture would be my sister, the anak sulung... haha.. But throughout the years after that, to me, he has really changed... I've watched him grow up to be a matured son who takes care of his parents well and most of all a very loving father.

I am sad to see that he has to go through all this.. my brother now has to berpantang makan, go for chemo for about 4 months and followed by radio therapy... I pity the children because they may not be getting the amount of attention that they are used to from him..I know that it would not be easy for my sis in law... But on a lighter note, it's good to see that he's indeed trying to stay positive..we're all gonna support him and will not show him that we're sad and all that.

I pray and hope that he would be strong to fight this battle.