Tips for moms and moms to be!

Somebody sent this to me and I thought it's cute and funny. This is dedicated to all mommies and mommies to be! Ladies, make sure you treasure every single day of being pregnant okay!

There are things that every educated woman should know before she gets married and becomes a mom.

1. Do not forget to the pill, men can be surprisingly irresistible and cause recklessness- You don’t want two babies at your hand when you’ve just married --- okay, too late for that Jiji.. :)

2. Get used to the Murphy’s law of marriage - everything that can go wrong will go wrong.

3. A long term living arrangement resolved earlier is better. Be sure to discuss the location of your home, home loans and payments earlier so you are prepared.

4. Shelf all travel plans, and place them somewhere after you hit menopause.

5. When you get pregnant, and feel low on self esteem, self doubt hounds you, you will be faced with confessions of your husband’s past, which will act like a balm on your self-existence, and you’ll never know what hit you. Sooner or later, you figure you’re still alive and that helps you generate overconfidence...confident enough to shove him off a building if he ever does it again.



6. You may receive an occasional massage from your husband. This is truly an added value of being pregnant.


7. Co-workers will become anorexic because you eat their lunch. Prepare your own snacks when you are pregnant at work.


8. Learn how to cook. One of the greatest misconceptions faced by high achieving woman is that they can get away with overlooking the role of feeding men.


9. During labor, you will vow to leave your husband.


10. After labor, you will change your mind when you see the baby latch on its little fingers around his.


11. After birth, you’ll love your husband like there is no tomorrow.


12. When you hold on to your baby who’s a spitting image of your husband, you’ll be fooled into believing that the world is a cradle of peace, justice, and unity.


13. Breastfeeding is worse than birth.


14. Only your husband can encourage you to breastfeed. This is the single most benefit of having an educated high-achieving husband – a man who sees you as an all encompassing woman rather than a sex object with perky boobs till 80.


15. Going to the bathroom for a quick pee is possible, because half of it is out anyway, but a shower is too self-indulgent a process after the baby is born.


16. You must wait to spend more than 15 minutes in the bathroom until the baby is big enough to drag you in herself and insist on a co-shower.


17. Raising your son/daughter will bring a new dimension of your own mother’s sacrificial existence before you.