An Affair to Forget / To Remember?

Paul Newman once said of his lifelong marriage to Joanne Woodward, "Why go out for a hamburger when you can have steak at home?"

Is it in to have an affair these days? Seems like ramainya pulak manusia yang tengah ada affair -- but maybe in denial that they are indeed having one. Okay before I go on, how should we define an affair?
2 married person of different sex enjoying the company of each other + having great conversations+exchanging smses, emails -- would this be under the definition of an affair?

This is an article I found on the net:
On a recent British chat show that was dealing with the topic of infidelity, one of the participants was denying the fact that she'd had an affair.

"I didn't have an affair. It was a relationship that involved sex", she said. To me, that just sounded like a poor justification for cheating on her partner. However, I then realised that it is how the individual or, more importantly, a couple defines an affair. If a couple agree that an affair is something that involves more than sex e.g. companionship, understanding, empathy etc., then pure sex alone cannot be defined as an affair in the eyes of such a couple.

Personally, I would define an affair as an ongoing, dishonest relationship with someone other than your partner, which involves intense feelings such as deep affection, love or lust. By dishonest, I mean a relationship that is deliberately kept secret from the regular partner or one that involves deceit, such as lying to your partner about where you're going, where you've been, why you're late home or why you didn't come home at all.

I would regard any intimate physical contact with someone other than your partner as being unfaithful and that includes kissing, but a one-night stand is not an affair, it's a one-off act of infidelity.

When I asked my partner what his definition of an affair was, he said, "Spending quality time with anyone other than your partner", to which he immediately received certain favours for giving a more than adequate reply! When I then accused him of having an affair with his mates, with whom he enjoys the occasional game of football, he re-phrased that to, "Spending quality time with someone of the opposite sex then." Unless you happen to be gay or bisexual, in which case spending time with someone of either sex who is not your partner would meet the criteria of an affair.

My very possessive friend Julia, 33, told me that her definition of being unfaithful was, "Having lustful thoughts about someone other than your partner." If we all agreed with that definition, then I imagine everybody has been disloyal at some time in his or her life, even if it was only through a dream whilst asleep!

A work colleague of my partner had this to say. "There's nothing wrong with sleeping with someone purely for sexual gratification, even if you are in a long-term relationship. If there is no other feeling involved, then there is no threat to the relationship and it can therefore not be regarded as an affair. Just because you sleep with someone, does not mean that you have all the other feelings of love, respect and complete adoration that you have for your partner, so how can it be classed as betrayal?"

If you have any respect for your partner and, certainly, if you really love your other half, there is no way that you would even consider seeking gratification elsewhere. What about the guilt, the consequences from being caught out and the possibility that you may end up re-enacting a horrible scene from Fatal Attraction?

As far as I am concerned, if you are happy, then you don't have an affair, a one-night stand or even a passionate clinch in a drunken moment. Blaming the alcohol is another over-used, pathetic and completely non-feasible excuse for having a fling. Alcohol just gives you the courage to follow up your intentions, to act out some intimate scenario about which you have already fantasised.

Although there appears to be no clear definition of an affair, one thing is evident. A couple has to establish firm ground rules about what is and isn't acceptable conduct, before entering into a long-term commitment.

Mann...people say that marriage is tough but then go and have an affair? Why not work on the marriage? Tak ke lagi susah tu bila ada affair..nak cover line lagi.. yeah rasa macam on cloud 9 but tak takut ke rasa bahang api ataupun panahan petir?

Me not here to judge. I know everyone has got their unique little problems and of course expectations. I guess you should follow the path of happiness righteously. Because if it's the wrong path, it would not be easy to find your way out.

I pray that you'll find the happiness that you seek. Actually I'm sure that you will... if you decide to do the right thing.