Should I.. move on?

Of late I've been toying with the possibility of leaving much loved B*N.. 5 years.. this would be the longest that I've worked in an organization... ingatkan I would only last 2 years the most here... technically I'm bonded for at least the next 2 years for attending that training in HK/Aceh... but that aside (maybe I could save up, to pay up) I think maybe it's time, no?

I always tell myself that, wherever I'm at, if there comes the day that I feel like dragging my feet to work or braving to see the doc every other day just to get a freaking mc, then that would be the time to leave.

For some reasons, @ B*N, I've not really gone to that stage..(Ok.. maybe I have... like during zaman pemerintahan Mdm Cenc... but the rest of the 1825 days, I'm pretty contented to be here!)...of course there will be issues but with the people I have with me I guess those issues are manageable..

So looking for a greener pasture would not be the reason why I should leave...coz I kinda like it here..I like what I do and the 'scariest' of all is that I can actually see myself retiring here.. haha.. (On top of that for all I know the grass on the other side could be poisoned.. contaminated.. whatever..)

Maybe I should just start with updating my resume... that could take at least a month or two...and also put in the resume like a package.. if you want me then you've got to bring some of my clans in Corp Affairs... hehe...

I guess when considering the situations that I was/am in, my mind is telling me that it's time... but hmmm..my heart is telling me something else... so, should I, move on?

I'm back - in spirit

Why I've not been blogging?

I got distracted.

The spirit to blog is still there.

To those who emailed/sent msg in FB/sms asking me to blog - tks for the reminders.. :)

Will resume to blogging soon -- maybe..I dunno..can't promise.. c how..

Tiring + Exciting = Satisfying

It's been a crazy and tiring week. Had no energy to blog. My definition of sleep can't be found in any dictionary. It's almost like scarce minerals to me.

But as corny as this may sound I just love my job. The projects that we've been doing the couple of months have just been very exciting - MyBSN-Hujan, Internal Brand Ambassador (coming soon in May) and Social Venture Challenge (coming soon in June). I can't stand routine. So, it's just been great to be doing different things every day and see them progress!

Still too tired to think.. so, won't blog much. Check out pics of the MyBSN-Hujan concert. I had fun! And I'm ever so happy to be part of this project! Truly an experience, money can't buy!

Sharing is caring ...

I thought of putting up a post on the bonus and increment which at the moment masih lagi samar2 ... (which by the way had caused some freaking big zits to have a fiesta on my face and some people going all cuckoo at the office with all the predictions and rumours and cerita2 from so-called 'reliable sources')...or about my lil' Sarah who turned 2 on the 28/3 and as part of commemorating her advancement to 'toddlerhood' almost broke her arm..or about how much I need to do rebonding to my hair.... or that tonight I have to squeeze my very expensive toner harder sebab dah kering tahap kronik tapi saja degil taknak beli yang baru nak tunggu bonus punya pasal...or yack and yack and yack about how I'm stressing out...

But...instead I ended up reading Ja's blog and ... and well.. it made me kinda 'sebak' la pulak... and made me think about how other people out there deserves to stress out more than I do but they just don't...

Excertps from the post:
Bulan nie, Firman sudah saya hantar ke tuition. Cikgu tadika dia dulu yang offer.Okla. Suami saya setuju jadi saya pun on jelah. Isnin, Rabu dan Khamis kelas dia. Ala, bukan jauh sangat rumah Cikgu dia pun. Dekat sangat. Mula2 saya risau lah dengan keupayaan Firman. Pagi sekolah, petang sekolah agama dan tambah 1 lagi.. tuition. Huhuhuh. Sian takut dia penat. Tapi nampak dia ok dan sebenarnya saya mmg patut hantar dia tuition.

Sedih saya.. yelah saya bekerja. Time tula saya terpk, bestnya saya tak kerja dan jaga anak2. Semalam masa saya sampai awal pkl 6.30pm kat rumah bbsitter saya, saya dapati Firman sedang main di tepi longkang bersama budak2 di sekitar itu. Dia ok saje.. tapi sayalah yang risau. Bbsitter dia mmg takde sbb ambik budak2 sekolah. Pkl 7pm baru balik. Yang jaga dia ialah kakak dan abang dia (anak bbsitterlah). Abang(Form 1) main bola kat padang dan kakak (Form 3) plak sedang bergossip ngan kawan2 seumur dia dekat tepi longkang itulah. Sian anakku... tapi saya take it positive la kan. Biarlah dia campur2 gitu. Tak jadi masalah pun. Semua orang kat area situ ok saje. Kalau jaga sangat dia dan tak boleh itu ini tak kebal plak anak kita. Biar dia bercampur dan lasak sket walaupun mcm orang kampung. Adventerous sket. As for RYan dan Emran, ok saje. bbsitter mereka mmg tak kasi mereka keluo rumah dan terkawal. Firman je tak suka duduk situ lama2 sbb dia tak biasa sangat.

Okla, saya mandikan Firman dekat rumah bbsitter Ryan. Siap2 kan dia nak pi tuition. Lagipun mmg tak sempat nak balik rumah. Selalunya saya akan beli makanan utk dinner. Tapi sbb Firman nak kena ke tuition, saya beli nasi lemak panas kat area situ dan suap makan dalam kereta. Sedih saya gak masa tuh sbb tak proper. Nasib baik Emran tak ngamuk. Ryan okla. dia pun nak makan sama. Yelah, sebelum belajar nak pastikan perut kenyang baru boleh concentrate.

Lepas hantar Firman tuition, saya pun balik rumah. Emran berak dan Ryan kena mandi. Settle benda2 tuh semua saya solat. Adik lelaki saya sms suruh ambik dia kat LRT Sri Petaling sbb baru balik Tepen. Okla sbb pkl 9.30pm saya dah kena ambik Firman. At the same time, saya sms kat suami saya apa aktiviti saya buat sbb takut jadi apa2 kat saya.. yelah mana nak tau kan. Minta dijauhkan.. Dia pun tengah sibuk dgn kerja dia jadi saya mmg bagi dia ruang utk bekerja dan tak ganggu dia. Penat..penat.. tapi sabar.. sabar..

more.....

Ja, I hope you don't mind me sharing this with others..

Life is indeed worth living and fighting for if you have a purpose!

And this one, without a doubt is my ultimate fighter! ;)

I want to let it all out!!

Lately I just feel so tired you know...
Like really tired.... emotionally...mentally...(physically - that goes without saying -- mother of two don't deserve a rest until you hit 50... :))
I'm just tired of being around angry people... and just because being the way I am, I just keep it to myself, with this muka cekodok basi... hmm... this is just not gonna be good for me in the long run...

I guess this is what happens when I keep everything bottled up inside me. I just can't let it out. The only 2 people that I can shout at would be The Kiddies.. I dunno la... I should probably be sent for an Anger Management course but for all the wrong reasons --- for me to BE ANGRY enough to let it all out! Rather than be the quiet mouse with a cekodok face.

But don't you angry people know that it’s no fun being around all that negative behavior?

Then again, it's no fun being around someone with a cekodok face either! So then this cekodok face will have to pretend to be happy and all ok.. then what? From cekodok becomes cuckoo? :p

I so need my Mocha Ice Blended now.

From splendid reading to deep realizations....

I have to say that I'm actually impressed with myself... I've finished reading 3 books in one month! Okay if you don't think Diary of a Wimpy Kid should be acknowledged as a book --- get this - I read 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' by Khaled Hosseini and khatam within a week!

When I started reading the book, honestly, I was quite hesitant to continue. I did'nt think that I would be able to finish the book. Heavy drama which would require full concentration and time. Tough!

But the book is indeed a page-turner. I was consumed with emotions throughout.

The book tells a story about the plight of 2 women in Afghanistan, Laila and Mariam. I love the way the writer differentiated the strengths and weaknesses of these 2 women. In the beginning, you can't help but feel uncomfortable about the mistreatments and the inability of these women to fight for their rights. But as you go along reading the book, you tend to understand why they are what the are... and you will have a sense of admiration for these women especially for Mariam who in the end had sacrifised so much for the happiness of others.

I find myself a bit heartbroken as well. I had wished that Mariam too would find happiness with Laila. I had wished that she would fought for her life when she was sentenced to death for killing her husband. But that's the syariah law and she fully took responsibility for her wrong doings.
And she knew that she would find an even more meaningful sense of happiness with God.

"Mariam wished for so much in those final moments. Yet as she closed her eyes, it was not regret any longer but a sensation of abundant peace that washed her over..... Mariam's final thoughts were a few words from the Koran, which she muttered under her breath:
He has created the heavens and the earth with the truth; He makes the night cover the day and makes the day overtake the night, and He has made the moon and the sun subservient; each one runs on to an assigned term; now surely He is the Mighty, Great Forgiver. "

Although the book ended with Laila and her efforts to make a difference in her life and others in Kabul, Mariam's character is too compelling to be forgotten. It is through her inner character that she has reached out to others - in the book - and also the readers.

This book has in a way inspired me to be a better mother and o well... actually to even have another baby.... ;) It's amazing how Khaled Hosseini, a male, could write very well about the love of a mother. I could feel the strong bond and the love of Laila, Mariam, Aziza and Zalmai.

But what I love the most about the book is all the realizations that it had brought on to me. The realization .....
..... of how thankful I should be with the life that I have....
..... of not to be consumed with petty things....
..... of the joy and appreciation that I value to be in the company of good friends...
..... of my parents who will forever be my umbrella of comfort..
.... 0f the hope of as a mother that when I leave this world I want to have the comfort of knowing my Amir and Sarah would be living a good life, if not better than I have...
.... of the awakening that as a wife I want to leave the world as a woman who had loved and been loved... that I will always be remembered as a guardian and a companion.

I guess the quest for a meaningful life and existence will never end.

This is a splendid book that I will definitely treasure!

Recording session with Hujan

Recording session for the jingle had to be done at the wee hours for 2 nights coz these guys are like owls... I could only manage to go for the first night... kalau dulu2 boleh stay up/lepak sampai pagi buta... ni pukul 12am pun rasa cam nak pengsan..

My sister got excited when I told her about the recording.. though she was complaining about how tired she was coz of work, tiba2 semangat nak ikut... at the studio, she got even more excited and asked if we could bring her 3 kids and hubby the next day! Actually she even suggested to bring my mother and father! ;)

So, really among the budak2 muda tiba2 sesat lak 2 org makcik and 2 orang pakcik (Eddy and En. Rahman who were also there to take pics and footage) kat situ...

I kinda thought when they say recording, that would mean the whole group singing/playing the instruments together and they record it la kan.. tapi zaman sekarang canggih...sume pakai machine/computer... so it could be done one by one... i.e by the time we came, it was AG's turn to play the guitar... Am's session with his drum dah habis... and although Noh was there, he would only sing the next day bila sume music dah ready....

It was kinda cool really to be experiencing all this... tinggal memang tak larat je la.. and the thought of having to attend to the kids when I reach home at 1.30am and then going to work the next day lagilah buat rasa macam nak pengsan....

I have to say that I'm really pleased with the commitment by the band.. maybe it's too early to tell? I dunno.. I guess reading the newspapers about them the past one year made me skeptical about their behaviour/commitment... but so far they've been very accommodating and they can do things really fast... It's good also I think that they have someone like Dimas who is more matured and really cares about the band... kalau tidak I'm sure they won't be able to survive this long...

Can't wait to share the jingle with you peeps! :)




My sister who was like malu2 kucing bila Noh ajak amik gambar... she went like .. takpe..takpe..tak payah.. tak payah.... and then Noh slamba said...Kak, bukan senang akak nak duduk kat kerusi ni pastu amik gambar ngan saya... ;p


See.. like me... no malu2 kucing one..... :)

AG Coco

Noh Hujan foolin around in the studio